Yes, I'm having a whiny day. I feel I have a right to feel whiny every once in a while. I am constantly working on so many different projects and working in so many different roles, and I feel that I could get it done if I had some help around here. Don't get me wrong, my husband does do some dishes, and he even does a little laundry and makes beds - he surface cleans here and there - but working around being a mother to a toddler, whom we refer to as my butt barnacle for obvious reasons, my two older kids' schedules, and my husband's unpredictable schedule just about brings me to tears some days.
Today I wanted nothing more than to break out my provisional patent edits that I received last week to review them. I've had one 6-hour period of time on one of our rare coinciding weekends in which I could really get into it. He could be with the kids, and I could get down to business. Believe me when I tell you it needs "getting into." It is so technical and so in depth, that it is sometimes hard to believe it is my invention being described. I even had a dictionary on hand to learn the literal meanings of certain words. (Did you know that furniture means any piece of useful equipment?)
Every time I pick it up, during brief openings seized during my working hours with lighter work loads and nap times, and start getting into one paragraph and making a notation that may or may not reveal itself in another paragraph within this 15-page document (not counting the numerous drawings that require simultaneous review due to the descriptions referring to enumerated components), I have to stop, only to find myself starting all over again later.
My 2-year-old is the cutest most loveable child, but he also happens to not want to sit silently at any point throughout a day. There is no getting away with a "uh-huh" and a nodd of my head.....my eyes must literally avert from my task at hand to prove to him that he has been heard and that I have seen what has him excited. This then MUST be followed with a comment. lol. It isn't like I'm all work and no play. I spend hours with him each day. We learn ABCs, colors, shapes, play games, do puzzles, etc. I just need someone to give me some time here to get this finished!
Hubbie has been called into work. He can't understand why I am near tears. This is my priority at the moment, and it really should only be a priority task for a day, not 2 weeks! Can I find a sitter right now to ease my stress and anxiety - nope - they are all in school! He works my weekends, and I work his weekends, but when he is here, I should be able to have the whole day to accomplish what I want, but it never works out that way. Somebody always needs something, and this even includes HIS employer, as well as him, the kids, my clients, my subcontractors, etc. A lot of it is my fault - I slacked off in some departments to make life easier for a period of time only to find that doing such a thing really isn't me, and now there are projects that are 10 times bigger to face and to fix. I'll explain later.
Okay, I feel I've been heard, despite the fact I have no readers yet! lol. Off to go pay my subcontractors and feel down about shelving the ONE task I would really actually enjoy doing at the moment. Sigh.
Sep 25, 2008
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