Jun 24, 2009

Movies & Kids

I'm starting to notice a problem here....either I've turned into a certain ex-Vice President's wife, or something is very wrong with perception these days in general.

Last year my husband and I could hardly stand the wait for the newest Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull movie. We were really excited about seeing the movie, as it was one of our favorite action series as children ourselves. The day had arrived, and after having watched the prior movies with our kids to get back up to speed and checking the ratings for the latest, off we went.

In spite of the ratings for this movie being PG-13, we decided to take our 9-year-old, 11-year-old, and 3-year-old anyway. We knew the 3-year-old would probably cause us to miss bits here and there taking turns at walking around with him when necessary, it being his first movie and all and due to the fact that it wouldn't remotely hold his interest, but......I was really ticked off before the movie ever even started.

This movie was rated PG-13, but the notations indicated the movie contained adventure violence and scary images only. Based on our own personal experiences with Indiana Jones, we knew our older 2 could handle this. But the previews/trailers for the movies prior to our movie beginning is what had me completely floored, mouth on the floor and all. My children had to view a trailer for Dirty, Sexy Money that showed lingerie-clad women, 1 seductively throwing herself down onto a bed, and even girl-on-girl action.

I returned home furious enough to rip off a letter, but I was unsuccessful in determining just who it was should be the recipient.

Fast forward to last week when my husband decided to take our 9-year-old and 11-year-old to see the new Transformers Revenge of the Fallen movie......Again, PG-13, but based on the first movie, the Burger King Kids Meal Toys with children our children's ages, he never checked the cautions for the movie. He bought the tickets on a whim as a special late-night treat for the older 2 while already at the movies watching Up with them. It is imperative that you take note of what the notations actually are for this one, which are: Intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material.

My husband came home in shock and embarrassed that he had even taken our children. He kept repeating, "They have kids their (our children) ages playing with them as kid meal toys!" We can handle a swear word here and there, but this apparently went above and beyond to the point it should have been labeled with "excessive language." He said he kept waiting for people to stone him and reprimand him while walking out with our kids that he had dared do such a thing. At least one of the trailers was appropriate, a new Toy Story movie coming up.

Brief notes about what he shared with me: Excessive language, and really overly so, not just your standard "shit," "hell," or "damn." Name calling using "pussy." A transformer climbing with wrecking ball-type of balls hanging between his legs clanging together AS his actual "balls." A "hot" girl landing with her head in the crotch of a guy and him picking up his head, looking down, and saying "Beautiful." A little robot humping the leg of a "hot" girl. A "hot" girl coming onto Shia LaBeouf's character trying to get him to "do it," and them showing her panties under her very short skirt while lying atop him so that you could get the full effect of her tail appearing as she transformed. That's about all I can recall off the top of my head at the moment, having not seen it for myself, but if my husband, Mr. Potty Mouth himself, had a problem with it, then I venture to say it must be "out there."

This is a questionable movie for even 13-year-olds in my opinion. It has been marketed to children even younger, as you would be hard pressed to find a 13-year-old or older person playing with the toys or eating the kid meals in which they are placed. Something has gone way out of whack here.

While I'm at it, there was another movie last year I believe it was....Hancock (which we did not let our children see thankfully). What a great opportunity for kids just missed out on. Had they made the character not drunk (which can offend some people) and instead had him lacking for other reasons, had they chosen another word as the word that set him off (only because they had children saying it), and had they completely cut out the scene where he takes home a woman from a bar and ejaculates through the roof of his trailer, they could have had a very good modern and realistic superhero movie on their hands in my opinion.

I also took my daughter, at my husband's recommendation, to see Marley & Me, which was inappropriate in my opinion for a 9-year-old. It didn't indicate in any way that the movie had suggestive sexual scenes that I found myself covering my daughter's eyes and ears for.

It really is such a shame.

Jun 18, 2009

I'm the Local Buggy Bandit and Groper.

In the past, in all my haste, during my on-a-mission, get-in-and-get-the-hell-out as fast I can style grocery shopping excursions, I had grabbed buggies other than my own causing panic in other patrons. It was only a couple times (so far), as I've learned to pause a sec to avoid this situation. I was dubbed the "buggy bandit" by my husband.

The first time this happened I was in the dairy section. There was a huge line of buggies clustered in the general area, so rather than wait for room to appear for my buggy, I left my buggy back by the paper products and walked right up to get my milk. Unfortunately, I then apparently grabbed the nearest buggy and continued on my merry way. Can't remember where I was when I noticed a bunch of produce in my buggy that I had not selected, and my Band-Aids? Where were my Band-Aids?......then it dawned on me, so I quickly made my way back to the paper product section to find the buggy-less woman standing near my cart. No harm done, a little bit of a laugh, my profuse apology, and on we went.

The second time, however, did not go as smoothly. I repeated the same slide-in-and-slide-out maneuver in the produce department and again grabbed the nearest buggy that was not my own. I was in the other end of the store when I looked down and noticed there was a purse in the seat of "my" buggy that was not mine. Egads! My heart dropped. I could get in big trouble for this one! I start frantically backtracking, not really knowing where I committed my crime. It was when I rounded the corner into the produce department that I could see a frantic woman surrounded by a couple of other helpful women that I located my mark. Deep breath.....onward. I approached the woman, who identified me via her purse as I approached her. I apologized up and down, backward and forward, and even sideways. I reached out and touched her arm in my attempt to convey my sincerity. She wasn't having any of it. Talk about dirty looks and conveying no interest in relating or understanding....sheesh. The giggles hit me halfway home, and I laughed about how stupid of a thing it was to do until I had tears. Can't really explain it, but it hit me funny somehow.

Fast forward to today, grocery shopping with kids in tow, I take a step back to look up high and back straight into someone. In an attempt to gain my balance, as my heel landed on this person's heel, my hand came down and back, and I palmed HER ass, and I mean really palmed it. Oh brother, now I'm not only a buggy bandit, but a groper. The kids had a good laugh but, again, the patron was unamused.

While my bandit incidents occurred during a time I really didn't know anyone in our small city, the ass I grabbed happened to belong to a woman who lives down the street from me, and I'm not exactly fond of her. I have no idea how she feels about me, but I'm guessing since I don't allow her children to play here due to their cursing, hitting, and fighting, it isn't favorable.

(NOTE: It is very important that as many people realize what a no-no leaving your purse in your grocery cart actually is.....many thieves wait until you are reading labels or are turned into the back of your car unloading groceries to make a grab for it! I've seen it happen with my own two eyes, and I actually pulled it off myself as the buggy bandit!)