I'm the Local Buggy Bandit and Groper.

In the past, in all my haste, during my on-a-mission, get-in-and-get-the-hell-out as fast I can style grocery shopping excursions, I had grabbed buggies other than my own causing panic in other patrons. It was only a couple times (so far), as I've learned to pause a sec to avoid this situation. I was dubbed the "buggy bandit" by my husband.

The first time this happened I was in the dairy section. There was a huge line of buggies clustered in the general area, so rather than wait for room to appear for my buggy, I left my buggy back by the paper products and walked right up to get my milk. Unfortunately, I then apparently grabbed the nearest buggy and continued on my merry way. Can't remember where I was when I noticed a bunch of produce in my buggy that I had not selected, and my Band-Aids? Where were my Band-Aids?......then it dawned on me, so I quickly made my way back to the paper product section to find the buggy-less woman standing near my cart. No harm done, a little bit of a laugh, my profuse apology, and on we went.

The second time, however, did not go as smoothly. I repeated the same slide-in-and-slide-out maneuver in the produce department and again grabbed the nearest buggy that was not my own. I was in the other end of the store when I looked down and noticed there was a purse in the seat of "my" buggy that was not mine. Egads! My heart dropped. I could get in big trouble for this one! I start frantically backtracking, not really knowing where I committed my crime. It was when I rounded the corner into the produce department that I could see a frantic woman surrounded by a couple of other helpful women that I located my mark. Deep breath.....onward. I approached the woman, who identified me via her purse as I approached her. I apologized up and down, backward and forward, and even sideways. I reached out and touched her arm in my attempt to convey my sincerity. She wasn't having any of it. Talk about dirty looks and conveying no interest in relating or understanding....sheesh. The giggles hit me halfway home, and I laughed about how stupid of a thing it was to do until I had tears. Can't really explain it, but it hit me funny somehow.

Fast forward to today, grocery shopping with kids in tow, I take a step back to look up high and back straight into someone. In an attempt to gain my balance, as my heel landed on this person's heel, my hand came down and back, and I palmed HER ass, and I mean really palmed it. Oh brother, now I'm not only a buggy bandit, but a groper. The kids had a good laugh but, again, the patron was unamused.

While my bandit incidents occurred during a time I really didn't know anyone in our small city, the ass I grabbed happened to belong to a woman who lives down the street from me, and I'm not exactly fond of her. I have no idea how she feels about me, but I'm guessing since I don't allow her children to play here due to their cursing, hitting, and fighting, it isn't favorable.

(NOTE: It is very important that as many people realize what a no-no leaving your purse in your grocery cart actually is.....many thieves wait until you are reading labels or are turned into the back of your car unloading groceries to make a grab for it! I've seen it happen with my own two eyes, and I actually pulled it off myself as the buggy bandit!)

Nincompoop Corner - Bed Sizes

So both hubbie and I wound up in the nincompoop corner, but oh well, it made for a great laugh.

I bought some new Thomas the Tank Engine sheets for my 3-year-old's new big boy bed, which is a twin bed. I put them in the washing machine and hubbie promptly pulled them out to make that bed for the anxious toddler who nagged and nagged for his bed to be made while waiting for them to finish the cycle.

He came out and announced they were the wrong size and that I should've purchased the "single" size. I asked, "What's the difference between a single and a twin? I thought they were one and the same. He proceeds to explain to me, "No, single and twin is not the same, and in fact, there is such a thing as a double bed." I respond that I'm aware there is a double bed. We're now walking toward the bedroom so I can assess what is wrong when he announces, "Singles are for 1 person and smaller than a twin, which is for 2 people." I start laughing hysterically asking, in between laughs, "Twins for 2 as in twins?" Oh brother.

When I arrive to the bedroom, I can clearly see how large this sheet set is so I set off to locate the package to see what I've done.......aaaahhhh, in my haste I interpreted "full sheet set including pillow cases, fitted, and top sheet" to mean "all the parts." Now I'm laughing hysterically at myself.

By the way, don't buy character bedding. It is more expensive, obviously, but the quality is about the worst I've ever had the displeasure of lying in. The baby doesn't seem to mind, but the sheets, in all their colorful decor, are still practically transparent, rough, and don't make for that wonderful cool-sheet feeling you may like in the summer. Also, please note that even if it does indicate it is a "full" set, it does NOT include a bed skirt. lol.

Laundry Lazy?

(Note: The baby gates we use to keep the youngest out of the older kids' rooms takes the paint off of the door jams, and I have no idea why Dh's sweatshirt is hanging on the linen closet door. I just stumbled upon this sitting there.)

I think you can figure out which member of my household this bad habit belongs to......leaving the laundry in the basket......by process of elimination......

I had the 2 older kids (I have 3 and the youngest is 3) time me on how long it would take to put these towels away. It took 45 seconds to put this basket of towels away, and I had to briefly fix up the contents of the linen closet so they would fit, and I had to refold 2 of them and walk a bib into the baby's room - 45 SECONDS!

I should have taken a picture of the pile in each room of our 4-bedroom home, but this one should be sufficient.



It doesn't take long to put laundry away at all. Unless you are walking it upstairs folded, then there is really no reason to put it back in the basket once folded. Just fold it, make the piles according to drawers and person, then pile it up according to drawers for each person, and take 2 stacks at a time and put them directly into the drawers. THE FOLDING IS THE HARD PART - YOU HAVE IT BACKWARDS DEAR! (talking to my husband -- oops! Did I give it away?)

Our 12th Wedding Anniversary......

Okay, so a little background.....my hubby is terrible at gift-giving.....well maybe not for every gift, but hearing me drop hints and even directly pointing out the item I would love to have, he seems to miss the mark.

I should've realized this would be a lifelong issue throughout our marriage the moment he proposed with the ring that I had specifically said "No, I don't like that one. In fact, I actually hate that one." when he took me shopping. lol.

Again, after becoming a mother, I pointed to a mother's necklace that was different from the one everyone else was getting at that time.....he got me the one everyone was getting at the time.

A couple years ago he bought me the past, present, and future ring that I wanted, BUT he added a bunch more little diamonds all around the main stones - it now looks like a cocktail ring - not my style. It was obvious how that happened, despite my specificity with him on that one, as I later met the jeweler when I took him out shopping for an anniversary gift a year later - that man was a pure salesman and didn't like it when I told him he shouldn't try to talk people into something other than what they were after because they wind up with an unhappy spouse like me. lol.

I'm just a balanced and simple person. I don't like abstract, curves, waves, or tons of little diamonds scattered about in my jewelry - straight lines and balance is what I need, clean. Can't get anymore specific than that, or can you?

Anyway, we just celebrated our 12th anniversary. We've been together for 18 years total. We were talking and I said "Maybe we should just stick to that old tradition that lists items made of paper and woods and such for gifts, or maybe even go with the newer, more updated version. He said, "What could I get you made of paper? Paper lingerie? A paper airplane? Is plastic one? You could wrap yourself in cellophane and I could wear a condom!" @@@ I think we'll be sticking to whatever floats his boat at that moment, as his options for a crack at the traditional gifts appear to represent a bigger challenge for him! He may be clueless when it comes to gift giving and what I like or dislike, but he is definitely my best friend and I'm glad he's mine.