Movies & Kids

I'm starting to notice a problem here....either I've turned into a certain ex-Vice President's wife, or something is very wrong with perception these days in general.

Last year my husband and I could hardly stand the wait for the newest Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull movie. We were really excited about seeing the movie, as it was one of our favorite action series as children ourselves. The day had arrived, and after having watched the prior movies with our kids to get back up to speed and checking the ratings for the latest, off we went.

In spite of the ratings for this movie being PG-13, we decided to take our 9-year-old, 11-year-old, and 3-year-old anyway. We knew the 3-year-old would probably cause us to miss bits here and there taking turns at walking around with him when necessary, it being his first movie and all and due to the fact that it wouldn't remotely hold his interest, but......I was really ticked off before the movie ever even started.

This movie was rated PG-13, but the notations indicated the movie contained adventure violence and scary images only. Based on our own personal experiences with Indiana Jones, we knew our older 2 could handle this. But the previews/trailers for the movies prior to our movie beginning is what had me completely floored, mouth on the floor and all. My children had to view a trailer for Dirty, Sexy Money that showed lingerie-clad women, 1 seductively throwing herself down onto a bed, and even girl-on-girl action.

I returned home furious enough to rip off a letter, but I was unsuccessful in determining just who it was should be the recipient.

Fast forward to last week when my husband decided to take our 9-year-old and 11-year-old to see the new Transformers Revenge of the Fallen movie......Again, PG-13, but based on the first movie, the Burger King Kids Meal Toys with children our children's ages, he never checked the cautions for the movie. He bought the tickets on a whim as a special late-night treat for the older 2 while already at the movies watching Up with them. It is imperative that you take note of what the notations actually are for this one, which are: Intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material.

My husband came home in shock and embarrassed that he had even taken our children. He kept repeating, "They have kids their (our children) ages playing with them as kid meal toys!" We can handle a swear word here and there, but this apparently went above and beyond to the point it should have been labeled with "excessive language." He said he kept waiting for people to stone him and reprimand him while walking out with our kids that he had dared do such a thing. At least one of the trailers was appropriate, a new Toy Story movie coming up.

Brief notes about what he shared with me: Excessive language, and really overly so, not just your standard "shit," "hell," or "damn." Name calling using "pussy." A transformer climbing with wrecking ball-type of balls hanging between his legs clanging together AS his actual "balls." A "hot" girl landing with her head in the crotch of a guy and him picking up his head, looking down, and saying "Beautiful." A little robot humping the leg of a "hot" girl. A "hot" girl coming onto Shia LaBeouf's character trying to get him to "do it," and them showing her panties under her very short skirt while lying atop him so that you could get the full effect of her tail appearing as she transformed. That's about all I can recall off the top of my head at the moment, having not seen it for myself, but if my husband, Mr. Potty Mouth himself, had a problem with it, then I venture to say it must be "out there."

This is a questionable movie for even 13-year-olds in my opinion. It has been marketed to children even younger, as you would be hard pressed to find a 13-year-old or older person playing with the toys or eating the kid meals in which they are placed. Something has gone way out of whack here.

While I'm at it, there was another movie last year I believe it was....Hancock (which we did not let our children see thankfully). What a great opportunity for kids just missed out on. Had they made the character not drunk (which can offend some people) and instead had him lacking for other reasons, had they chosen another word as the word that set him off (only because they had children saying it), and had they completely cut out the scene where he takes home a woman from a bar and ejaculates through the roof of his trailer, they could have had a very good modern and realistic superhero movie on their hands in my opinion.

I also took my daughter, at my husband's recommendation, to see Marley & Me, which was inappropriate in my opinion for a 9-year-old. It didn't indicate in any way that the movie had suggestive sexual scenes that I found myself covering my daughter's eyes and ears for.

It really is such a shame.

Summer Crazies....

This is how I refer to it. Even though school is still in, when the weather warms, my home becomes the child magnet. It seems much more difficult with a 3-1/2-year-old however I have to say. He wants so badly to play with all the bigger kids and to keep up.

Back when my first two, now 9 and 11, were this young, my home was completely child proofed. Not so any longer. It is to a certain degree--to keep him out of harm's way--but I guess catching his antics and behind-the-scenes sneakiness is much more difficult with everyone running in different directions.

Lately, he's been giving me a real run for my money, so much so, I haven't blogged in a while. It's been compounded by the end-of-the-school-year madness such as helper breakfasts, VIP lunches, field trips, softball season, etc.

Last week, my youngster walked around the corner with a freshly cut strawberry in his hand proudly holding it up with one hand while holding out the empty hand and wiggling the fingers announcing, "See mom, I didn't cut my fingers off!"

I have to admit he did a really great job at it, but once discovering his hands were in fact still intact to find the large serated bread knife left next to that stawberry top, I set off trying to locate a new container in which to put the sharp knives atop the fridge like the old days. One of the drawbacks of having much older siblings to watch and to learn from and to having a 3-year-old the size of a 6-year-old. He can reach everything.

This week he has become more determined than ever to go potty all by himself. He comes out and announces that he has done so. I want to encourage him to continue, but.....he won't cave on calling for backup to wipe after a poopie. @@

He has cleaned all of his dresser drawers out 3 times in the last 10 days or so in order to locate a hoodie sweatshirt and jeans or sweats to wear. He has suddenly developed a true love of these clothing items, regardless of how hot it is now outside. I have now hidden the sweatshirts and he has now moved onto long sleeve shirts. Don't know what I'm gonna do with him, other than continue to force him to help me clean it all up.

One day last week, he announced that he pee-peed on the potty and poo-poo'd too just as proud as can be. I asked him who wiped his bum to which he replied, "Nobody." I took him into the bathroom explaining that bums always need to be wiped after a poo-poo because some gets stuck in the crack. I said, "Here lemme show ya. Bend over and touch your toes." He does this and I wipe. I then show him the remnants left behind on the paper to which he dramatically and disgustedly yells, "Aaaaackkkkkk! Don't show me that again, K?!"

Now, this week, after a dresser-emptying episode, that my husband discovers and overreacts about, we hear "Eeeeew! There's poo-poo on the floor!" to which my husband also overreacts about (he shoulda won an Oscar - really). Turns out that in his attempt to put on some new clothes with an unwiped poopie bum, he left a pretty good skidmark on the area rug in his room. Instead of yet again being able to explain it to him as to how he should have called for backup in wiping, he can't hear me as those eyes are watching my near-hysterical husband ranting and raving like a lunatic....."I can't do it Chris. I just cannot clean up any more poop. You're gonna have to do this!" (We've both been driven to the brink by our dog's bodily fluids from either end, but that story another time. We're wondering if she isn't the next Marley).

The other day, as I'm working on the couch with my laptop, he comes around the corner and announces "Don't see me mom and cover your ears." (This is how he announces that he is about to do something he knows he doesn't want us to see.) So I oblige him, purely for the memory of it. He walks away out of sight but pops his head back into the room and asks, "Can you hear me?" I don't answer him and keep looking at the computer with my ears covered. Next I hear a sliding chair across the tile floor and a loud noise with it. He comes running back around the corner and asks again if I can hear him, to which I again do not respond. He does this yet once more. Finally, I don't hear anything, so I stand up and walk into the kitchen to find him standing on the very heavy dining room chair that is now at the other end of the kitchen reaching into the cookie jar for a granola bar. "Wouldn't it have been easier to ask for one?" I asked him. He answered he wanted to do it by himself.

Being a work-at-home mother means that work tasks you are trying to accomplish with a toddler nearby take quadruple the time it should!

My parenting tips within - find a decorative container/vase in which to keep your sharp knives atop the fridge out of reach of toddlers. Tying a rope around your kitchen table chairs works well for preventing toddlers from climbing but does absolutely nothing when that toddler learns how to untie that rope. I'll never figure out why the phrase terrible two's was ever coined, as the age of 2 never posed any problems for us. It was the age of 3 that kept us on our toes that requires constant reinforcement and lessons to be taught.

Handmade Tea-Light Candle Holders

My 3-year-old made this candle holder. All the kids enjoy making these to give away as gifts. They make great gifts for grandparents, aunts, and uncles, etc. Great project idea to offer up to Dad for making mother's day gifts as well.

You'll need a small GLASS jar with an opening large enough to accommodate a tea-light candle. Dijon mustard jars, maraschino cherry jars, and babyfood jars are perfect.

If you've been saving the gift tissue from gifts, you are all set. If not, you can buy some if you need to. The more colors and patterns, the better. My child chose to stick with one pattern, and for his age of 3, I chose to keep the pieces more square for ease. Cut up your chosen tissue papers into irregular shapes, and store extra in a baggie for the next time. Each time makes for a unique gift. Multiple colors gives a special stained glass effect once the candle is inserted and lit.

You will also need glue. I have not investigated flammability of craft glues of any sort, but I know you can use what we do--regular ol' white school glue. You can thin it out a bit with water if you like as well. We don't. To apply the glue, you'll need a child-style paintbrush or foam craft brush. It's probably best to ensure minimal glue gets on the inside portion of your jar.

Paint one side of the jar and apply your tissue paper, and repeat all the way around. Overlapping is great. It's okay to go over the tissue paper with the glue to help flatten out any wrinkles. Imperfection for toddlers is sweet in my opinion.

It's obviously best to keep any tissue paper from overlapping into the mouth of the jar as well due to flammability. If your jar is tall enough, then you really won't need to worry about this due to the height of a tea-light candle. Do NOT use votive candles in your handmade candle holders. You may also embellish your handmade candle holder externally with a variety of items, foam shapes, sticky letters, glitter, etc. To add glitter, paint a layer of glue over the paper and sprinkle it on. Glitter should only be used for children who are able to handle their creation minimally, as the glitter will get on their hands. You don't want glitter to get into a youngster's eyes, so use with caution.

Allow to dry, and you're all set.

Art Projects with Colored O Cereal or Fruit Loops

This project is as easy as pie. Three-year-olds seem to enjoy smashing the colored O's especially. Use either a rolling pin or a large spoon. They also don't mind the sorting so much either. Great for learning to sort by color, color recognition, counting, etc. Use your imagination.

Using some of the recycled applesauce, pudding, or yogurt cups, place the color assortment surrounding the construction paper within easy reach of your toddler. As a side note, my 9-year-old daughter still enjoys getting creative with this project.

Also using some of the aforementioned containers, pour some glue into one and provide your child with tools to drizzle and paint the glue onto the paper. The tools can be anything from a Q-tip to sponge applicators to actual paint brushes. If you feel your child can handle squeezing an actual glue bottle, then let them have at it. Just be forewarned they tend to drizzle in one place.

You are only limited by your imagination. You can place drips of glue throughout, drizzle it on, or paint it on. You can strategically choose your colors and sprinkle them onto your picture or you can randomly sprinkle it on.

You then bend your paper to accumulate the loose crumbs into the center to pour into yet another container for a new wonderful rainbow mix.

Give them a brief demonstration and off they go.

SUPPLIES:

* Colored O Cereal sorted by color, 1/2 to 1 cup of each color.
* Baggies for crushing the cereal within.
* Large cooking spoon or rolling pin for crushing the cereal.
* Glue
* Containers such as empty applesauce, pudding, or yogurt cups to hold the glue and crushed cereal.
* Construction paper.

Kid Crafted Easter Egg Baskets

With the help of an adult that is.

We made these baskets 4 years ago. They've held up pretty well. We store them in paper ream boxes, 1 per box.

While we all treasure them now that they are done......it wasn't exactly an ideal project for kids of 5 and 7....at least until we got past pasting the plaster strips onto the balloons. I would now recommend that the parents of younger children apply the plaster strips alone when the children are in bed, allow to dry, and introduce this project to the kids the following day at the paint and decorate stage.

It was very messy. My daughter was about 5 years old and my son about 7. We had a balloon pop during application of the plaster strips.....plaster flew everywhere, but she also got upset enough to cry. She takes it as a personal insult almost if things don't go just so or as planned (we're always working on this.) My son thought it was hilarious. The kids could not do this stage alone, and even though they are 11 and 9 today, I still wouldn't be too far away.

The up sides are the pride they feel each year they see their basket, the baskets hold a ton of "stuff," and are more accommodating to holding toys and larger chocolate bunnies.



If you're up for to the challenge, then go for it. Here is what you will need with instructions:

*2-3 Pkgs. of Plaster Gauze Strips (like these)

*A balloon of an appropriate size (we chose extra-large from a party supply store) that will resemble an egg shape when inflated.

*Craft paints and decorative accessories of any kind. Get creative!

*A place to hang your balloon for drying purposes. String and hangers, nail/hook in garage, etc.

*A razor blade/wallpaper cutter (similar to this)

*Masking tape to cover the balloon exit hole.

Instructions:

Inflate your balloon to the size you desire. Follow package instructions on plaster gauze strip packaging to prepare the strips appropriately. Place the strips in one direction completely covering the balloon, leaving a small circle at the narrow end allowing the tail of the balloon (where tied) to hang out so you can deflate the balloon and remove it later. Then go back and place more strips in the opposite direction for reinforcement purposes. Smooth out with your hands as necessary to achieve the desired smoothness. Allow to dry according to package instructions or when you feel the plaster has properly cured. (Wait until after the children have decorated their Easter Egg Baskets before popping the balloon. This just allows for more resistance against the weight of their decorating activities. )Remember! Once the children are near complete with embellishing their creations, cover the small opening where the tail of the balloon was hanging out with some scotch tape and have the children paint over this before putting your supplies away.

Once dry, pop the balloon within and remove through the small opening you have left. You can wait until after the following step to remove it, but you will want to pop it first. Now you can cut around the egg in a jagged fashion with the razor blade mimicking a cracked egg pattern. Fill with Easter grass and goodies. Enjoy!

Reusable Household Containers for Kids Crafts

You will encounter many different containers ranging from single-serve applesauce cups to yogurt containers that can serve as craft accessory dispensers/holders.

Here I have pictured Italian ice cups that we use to hold tempera paint. Easily washable and reusable and amount to less paint waste. Also easily rinsed and recycled via the recycle bin if you so desire.



I have never once in the 11 years I've been a mother who has also worked in a preschool seen a kid haphazardly throw paint onto paper when supplied with a brush for each color of paint. Sure, a few times they've mixed their colors via the paintbrush just bumping into other colors, but the amount of paint needed for them to produce a piece of art is really very minimal; not at all the amount you pour into the standard kids' art paint cups with caps and covers. It doesn't hurt to toss out the mixed paint should it occur either.


Paint cups such as these are expensive and difficult to clean. The covers don't necessarily mean paint stores well for long periods of time either.

Single-serve applesauce cups are great with low sides for putting plain old glue into the bottom. Supply a paint brush for the toddlers and they have an easy and fuss-free way of applying glue to an art project. Nothing frustrates them more than handing them a glue stick and expecting it to stick a noodle onto a piece of paper - you need more substance for certain projects. Most toddlers have a difficult and messy time of trying to squeeze a glue bottle as well.

Before tossing out any container - give a quick thought as to what you MAY be able to use it for. Maybe it won't work out as you had planned, but chances are it will!

Kid Activities with Colored Pasta

This batch of noodles has lasted us around 8 years. We reintroduce the buckets of colored pasta here and there, and each time it receives a warm reception. You can utilize the colored pasta for a variety of activities. There is a wide variety of pasta shapes.

It is excellent at developing their shape and color recognition skills by having them help sort the shapes or colors into separate containers. Be forewarned, however, that you will not want to attempt to engage them in a large sorting project. This sort of activity will hold a toddler's attention for around 15 minutes before they start experimenting with what happens when they pretend to be say a construction machine dropping them from high distances, etc. You will want to introduce a small number of each shape or color for this type of activity.

It is excellent for developing hand-eye coordination via threading applicable shapes onto boot laces. Boot laces work best due to the little plastic tapered ends, their stiffness, and their length.

The nonthreadable shapes are great for miscellaneous art projects, i.e. making pasta art on construction paper with glue.

Buy the largest container you can find of rubbing alcohol so that you can expedite the die process in large batches. You can store them in inexpensive store-brand food containers or in the recycled household containers I shared here.

Ingredients: Rubbing alcohol, food coloring, dried pasta, newspaper/paper towels, and wax paper.

Instructions: Pour the rubbing alcohol into a deep and narrow bowl/container. Add food coloring until a deep hue has been achieved. The longer you allow the pasta to soak, the more color it will absorb for vibrancy. Remove the colored pasta with a slotted spoon and place onto the newspaper/paper towel that is placed atop the wax paper forming a water-proof barrier. Allow to dry overnight or outdoors in the sunlight.

Children of any age past 2 will be able to utilize the pasta in varying age-appropriate ways, but you will want to be sure that the children do not try to eat the pretty pasta. I tasted it myself because I always want to know what the likelihood is that they might eat it.....put it this way, unless you have a child who is seemingly taste-bud devoid, then you should be okay. It tasted horrible.

You will encounter broken pasta shards as people step on them during necklace-making sessions spread out on the floor, so be careful. The shards can sometimes be very sharp. Nobody has yet been cut during the breakage moment itself at our house or after, but I can see that occurring afterward easily. Cleanup is still very easy even on the carpet with hand raking. If you experience excess breakage for some reason, be sure to vacuum thoroughly just in case.

My three-year-old spent an entire hour threading necklaces last night and was pleased as punch at having him and I rotating turns at wearing them. Today he had a great time gluing the shapes onto paper for yet another hour.

Enjoy!

Should I Be Worried?

Should I be worried that at just over 3 years of age he still thinks I can't see him if he can't see me? It's still too cute to care.

G in a muffled voice: "Come and find me momma!"

Me: "K. Where ever can my handsome boy be?" (seeing him immediately) "Hmmmm, could he be over here by the door? No. Over here by the table? No....." (as I grab the camera on the fridge right next to him)

G still muffled: "I'm on the floor!"

Me: (snap picture and then tickle foot) "I found you!"

Secret Santa and Gift Exchanges at School

So many fathers like to label us mothers as crazy or half deranged raving lunatics when it comes to some of the things we encounter at school or the demands our children's schools can place on us, so it's been particularly entertaining listening to my husband's rant this evening.

He's managed to cover many of the concerns I've shared with him over the years as if his expression of them is the first time anyone has ever thought of them. Too funny.

It started with him greeting the kids upon their return from school and unloading the dreaded backpacks, but this time he actually decided to sift through the onslaught of papers himself since I declared it was not specifically my job and I taught him how to read them, jot down important notes/dates, etc. and THEN pitch them (his previous method was a quick glance and a toss into the trash--needless to say a lot of things were falling through the cracks here.)

I'm sitting down here working on accounts payable to hear the basement door unlock and open, to hearing his voice, "You HAVE to get up here and SEE THIS!" I'm thinking the baby is entertaining the family, but when I get up there, he thrust this piece of paper in my face.

My daughter's 3rd grade teacher has sent home the Secret Santa information, only this time, it is a bit excessive. Usually, if your child has a teacher who does this sort of thing at all, you are looking at a Secret Santa gift limit of around $5.00. Oh no, not this teacher. There are explicit instruction to buy 4 gifts each not more than $2.00 in value - $4 x $2 = $8. That's not the end of it.....then there are instructions to buy a "big" gift not more than $10.00 in value - $8 + $10 = $18.00. I guess the plan is to gift the children daily and give them clues as to who their Secret Santa is - cute concept and all, but couldn't the kids maybe make some gifts for each other or just give daily hints as to who the Secret Santa is throughout the week for the "big" gift giving day?

Hubbie is just livid that this could be expected of just anyone, despite it not breaking our bank so to speak. lol. He's rattling off the things those with a gift of consciousness have in relation to those less fortunate, i.e. Not everybody can afford this!-This is crazy!-SHE is crazy!-You know how many kids might be made to feel badly because their families can't do this?-Is she high?-Why on earth would we buy any child in that classroom more than 1 gift period?-Does she know that some families have 30 people to buy for?-Why waste the money on useless dollar-store crap rather than a thoughtful gift?!, and She's only given everyone a week to accomplish this!, etc.

It is definitely entertaining. It is usually me freaking out about things like the Simple Machine projects that make me thank the powers that be out loud that I have a husband to help my children accomplish them, but because I remember the struggles my family faced as a young girl, I ALWAYS think of those who are currently struggling.

We aren't stingy people. We do what we can to help those in needy families whenever possible.

I'm thinking there may be a series of complaints lodged with the school tomorrow, so I'm going to sit tight for a few days until I'm certain this stays this teacher's game plan. It's only one year, right? Unless, of course, our next child gets the same teacher. lol.

I could go on all day about the craziness we've encountered at school, the strange rules individual teachers can impose upon your family at their very whim that they themselves completely contradict, like the teacher who outlawed treat sharing on birthdays and instead wanted the birthday child to supply the whole class with gifts and yet handed out candy daily as a reward, but I'll save that for another post.

What do you consider a reasonable amount for gift exchanges at school? What do you consider a reasonable number of presents for gift exchanges at school? (barring those who do not participate in Christmas at all obviously).

Working at Home & Isolation

What happens when your husband lands a new job 100 miles (and more) from all of your friends and family just before you give birth to your first child and quit your full-time office job to move that far away with him?

You run the risk of people acting like you live on another continent altogether. People hardly come to visit. Over the years friends have even reverted to e-mail contact rather than telephone calls. Let's face it, talking on the phone with little ones is challenging on a good day, and since I became a mother later than most of my friends, once they achieved telephone-talking-with-ease status they then entered the overscheduled-child phase, which to this day does not afford anyone spare time. Still e-mail contact. Sigh.

Now compound that situation with working at home in a digital/internet era....practically no adult interaction/contact. My life literally consists of upstairs, downstairs, school, and the grocery store. You can throw in the doctor and dentist outings and only 1 sport each per child.

It is isolating enough that when my mom called at the last minute to invite me to travel to Illinois and camp out overnight in freezing temperatures to try out for Deal or No Deal, I actually jumped at the chance - it was actually appealing! Luckily, the folks at the Pier let everyone who could fit inside into the building so we wound up non-sleeping warmly on the floor of a public building with complete strangers. We met some funny folks and did have a good time. (Didn't make the show though). My husband was dumbfounded that I said, "It sounds like fun. Why not?" As soon as I said it and knew the weather forecast, I knew I was truly a desperate woman with a skewed perception of fun these days.

As a work-at-home mom whose job is computerized, including most communication with clients, you take chances to get out whenever they present themselves whatever the opportunity.

I've made new friends in this city, but I am forced to keep my distance somewhat, for my own sanity. The downside to being a work-at-home mother is that it is a rare person who understands that you have a real job to do and that you still have deadlines. If they could stop asking me for bogus play dates at my house wherein they arrive and announce as they wave goodbye they will be gone for 6 hours to another city or quit copping out on the kid swaps we've tried to plan (I keep their kids for 2 hours and they keep mine for 45 minutes or can't do it), I'd probably have more of a life, but that is not, nor has it been, my reality in the 10 years I've been working at home unfortunately.

You get the requests to let so-and-so's child ride the bus home with your child until they can pick them up 2 hours later from those you hardly know because they merely heard you work-at-home and must therefore just simply be at home, whether it be due to an older sibling's appointment for which they don't feel 2 or more children should be pulled out of school early, or not being able to greet them at the busstop for any reason, to the parent who is trying to accommodate the child who just simply does not wish to attend their sister's cheerleading competition or sports event and hearing a mother of a boy making a play date with your daughter while saying "Every Wednesday we need him to have a play date due to *this reason.*" Hmmmm, a/k/a free babysitting service. (Just FYI, if the play date is with your middle-child daughter who has a "cool" older brother, there is nothing but trouble, as that child will inevitably ignore what was supposed to be his playmate as he gravitates toward the boy stuff and older boy). It can get really astonishing the requests you receive with no attempts at hiding the true motives behind them, but worse, with no real consideration as to how this request will impact you. (You might not know it moms, but we're onto you!) It drives me absolutely crazy when a parent allows their too-young children to play with mine on days I have hired a baby-sitter to help me out - I still can't get work done worrying about whether or not my sitter can appropriately tend to my kids, let alone the 3 extra small ones who don't belong here, and on my dime picturing the other mother accomplishing her dish washing, laundry, or simply having an uninterrupted telephone conversation with her friends).

Don't get me wrong here either. I do readily do things out of the kindness of my heart such as snatch up the neighbor's older 4 children under the age of 6 just so that she and her newest baby can nap together, etc., but I have to do those things when I am able to, not because other people think I am able to or should be able to. I'm the first one to offer to take a child, even if it is inconvenient in someone's time of need, but I don't consider your schedule, other child's appointment, or your social life a time of need. When one of my children has an appointment, they all come with when there is only one parent available. I once sat here with 3 children down the street whose parents had to rush to the hospital to have a baby. This was no problem for me. I was happy to do it. It became a problem, however, on this school night, to learn that grandma and grandpa were also at the hospital rather than caring for these children. Couldn't they see that all of these children were going to be exhausted for school the next day, as it was now 11 p.m.? Couldn't they see that because they couldn't get to sleep due to the excitement (their children and mine at the novelty of a sleepover on a school night), that this was setting my work back hours and that I would have to stay up later to get it done? The answer is "No." The work-at-home life seems a breeze to outsiders.

For me it got to a point where I knew not to answer my phone, that I had to outright say "I'm sorry, but I can't because I have to work." and NOT buy into the child-swapping ideas with just anyone. Funny thing is, out of all these people, those who only required my friendship to serve their purposes no longer call at all and are therefore not a true friend. Because I can't tell who these people are or are not in advance, I have to keep my distance.

It is important to take into consideration that a work-at-home mother does have a job to do and that while you think she is always available, she is not. A work-at-home mother would LOVE to be your friend because she craves adult interaction due to her isolation, if friendship is all you expect or demand of her. Talented at juggling, time-management, prioritizing, and sacrificing is the work-at-home mother, and she will be there for you, and even offer to be there for you, whenever you need it or could just use a helping hand regardless--if you don't abuse her. She could certainly use a helping hand herself some days.

Has this been your experience being a work-at-home parent? How have you dealt with those who just don't understand? How have you dealt with the isolation or how do you combat it?

School Fundraising

So today my daughter really wanted to try her hand at fundraising, and here I was really excited that this year they were accepting donations in lieu of fundraising. I was prepared to donate $100 - $50/school-aged kid, which is more than the kids can earn the school via the fundraiser, but they can’t have both my time and my donation. Fitting in the time for a fundraiser is hard work around here, especially considering the goods are delivered in November when the sun goes down around 5:30 p.m., I have a little one napping ‘til around that time or later, and I’m the sole caregiver most nights. We have one hour a day to distribute deliveries, which can take weeks to accomplish due to those who placed the orders keeping various schedules and never being home.

When I was a kid, fundraising wasn’t an issue for me until I was technically old enough to handle peddling the stuff on my own, around the age of 12, which I gladly did time and time again, and I could go ‘til the sun went down for days on end in an attempt to win the grand prize the top seller was eligible for. It definitely was never an issue for my parents. My parents had only to help me pick up the order. Delivery was, again, my responsibility. Granted times are different now, as far as feeling comfortable letting even a 12-year-old go door-to-door, but a 12-year-old can handle all the steps in between independently.

Apparently things are different now. Earnings for each school are based on the individual sales of each school within the district, so now you have the poor-selling neighborhood schools upset about how unfair the new equipment the top-selling neighborhood school was able to earn. They feel like the district “step-child.”

I feel bad for my kids in this department. The fundraisers always clearly indicate children should NOT go door-to-door and that parents should hit up family, friends, and coworkers out of “safety for the children.” These people get sick of being hit up year after year after year, especially when it’s coming from multiple sources at the same time. I actually feel mostly guilty knowing that all of my neighbors living on fixed incomes repeatedly buy from my children simply because they feel obligated and because they like us. For us, it is further compounded by the fact that I have no coworkers being a WAHM and by the fact that DH only has 13 coworkers whose children are all selling items at the same time.

Let’s face it – the school hardly makes any money and everyone feels they’ve been had when they pay $10 for 6 tiny chocolate-covered peanut butter bears (I think at last check the school received 5%). Even if you stick them to the roof of your mouth to let them melt as slowly as you can, it still doesn’t seem to be worth $10 ($0.50 for the school).

They take these kids into an assembly and get them completely psyched out of their little minds about possibly winning an X-Box 360 when they all wind up with that same plastic crap they buy with tickets at places like Chuck E Cheese’s that never gets touched again after its extraction from the prize box. The worst of it is that they include even the kindergartners who don’t even have a clue and never hear anything beyond “Win this prize and that prize!” Suddenly, by not aiding them in their attempt to win the master prize, even if it is because you have limited contacts and live in a small neighborhood where 16 other children are also selling the same items, you become the bad guy and they feel sad and a little like a failure the day the grand prizes are awarded to those few lucky children who have parents working in large companies.

It is also really hard to get excited about foodstuff fundraising after being stuck with hundreds of dollars worth of overpriced frozen/keep-refrigerated food when DH picked up the fundraiser orders and set them under a table in the family room that had become the catchall/temporary holding place of everything during a kitchen remodel for me to discover 11 days later! I noticed them one day as I sat trying to locate some of my ovenware to make dinner one night and said “What’s in those boxes under here?”

I was only comfortable letting my daughter sell alone on our street where we know everyone, so when she was done, she came back to get me.

What I didn’t know as we walked out the door, and as I mustered up the most enthusiasm I could about doing it, was that she had invited 2 other children to join us. They had both been selling with her on our street as well, which I discovered when reviewing my daughter’s order form and she turned up with 2 checks and yet no matching orders for them. It took a couple of minutes to figure out which girl took what order and which payment went where. Both of these other girls are 6 years old and spend much time with us at our house. My daughter is almost 9.

So as we proceed down the street passing each of the other girls’ homes so they can pick up their packets on the way, and as I’m trying to just forget about the provisional patent application draft waiting for my review on my desk, all of the regular work I’m facing tonight, and that we will be having a very late dinner, one girl’s mom calls her back to the house after giving her permission to join us indicating her dad wanted her home. We reached the point where we are walking slowly in front of her house to find out if she would still be able to come along when suddenly, speeding down the driveway and straight past us on a mission at warp speed with noses down, helmets on, and all the exertion they could muster, (everything minus the evil laugh), they just rip on by and keep going heading to the last house on the street that we had not yet hit…..not a word to us – nothing.

I’m scratchin’ my head wondering what on earth that was all about. It soon became obvious dad had turned it into a competition and had decided I must have no intention of being fair. How odd. My husband is competitive, but only when he is playing a game or a sport, and never with the kids’ activities. We round the corner and there they stand soliciting an outdoor dinner party, all the while looking over their shoulders at us as if to say “Ha, ha!” We just picked the next street and continued on, never to see them again. In the end, it worked out better for us, I assigned each girl to a side of the street, which is hit or miss for both, but it also meant faster coverage. When I told DH today’s story about my daughter’s friend’s father, he said “Okay, Bob (name changed), Game on Beeyatch.”

Lessons learned in fundraising so far:

1. It is actually a plus to take 2 kids at once on opposite sides of the street – it saves time;

2. Make sure you record the street number and name, even though there is no room to do so, because you will NEVER find these people by name again when the items are delivered;

3. Pickup of the goods usually happens during the time your youngest is napping and you are home alone with him/her;

4. NEVER just assume that if your spouse happens to be home that day that he will remember there were food items in those boxes or that he will even open the boxes to double check the orders, let alone realize items need refrigeration.

5. Don’t knock on your neighbor’s door after dark to make a delivery, especially the old ones who live alone – it scares the crap out of them.

6. It could take up to 6 years before your child comes to the realization that being a top seller is near impossible for most kids and decides on his own that he/she does not want to participate – maybe longer.

7. Be prepared to foot the bill for those who "will pay upon arrival" until then.

7. If you don’t have a story like mine today to share with your competitive husband, make one up, as now I don’t have to fundraise tomorrow because DH made it his personal mission to womp Bob in sales!

Welcome!

Me woman! (I talk caveman for my husband frequently - he seems to understand me better this way).

What else is there to say? It means there is no stopping me and there is no limit to my capabilities. It means I am a master of multitasking and am spread real thin. It means that I don't always make the best decisions and that I have faults. It means I put everyone before myself (trying to change that) and that I am hardest on myself. It means some nights I plop down onto the couch with a sigh and not enough energy to drag myself into bed feeling defeated.

Feel free to join me on my adventures through life and all of its "stuff" as I continue to struggle running a service-based business, being a work-at-home mother to 3 children, and a wife, as well as a wannabe inventor/entrepeneur in that elusive thing called "spare time." I'll discuss the fun and the varied challenges I've faced being involved in so much, which may not be "as much" as some of you (hey, we all have different threshholds), my frustrations in general, and what things have worked for me, as well as those that have not worked for me. I also welcome hearing about the "things" that have worked for others and the "things" that have not as well!

My life is far from perfect, and I can admit that. There is humor to be found in each lesson I've learned along the way!